“Find something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.” – Bill Bartman
Sounds simple enough, right? …is it? If “life” is so simple, why do so many people live in stress, fear, worry and unhappiness? How do you find purpose and meaning out of your life? Are you really Happy?
By my early thirties I climbed many metaphoric mountains in search for the answers to questions like these. Ultimately, all of our desires are fueled by a need to find joy and meaning from our lives –The Pursuit of Happiness.
“Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans.” – ever hear that expression? When I was 17, I planned out the next 10 years of my life. And like the expression, my plans didn’t exactly pan out. In fact it was way off.
Here’s a little glimpse of what really happened from ages 18-28:
- Served in the U.S. Marine Corps – proud to be a Marine, but happier to get out! (that’s a whole other story)
- Unsuccessfully started a couple businesses, and had to move back in with my parents :(
- At 21, had some success making merchandise for music bands such as The Black Eyed Peas, (grossing a humble quarter million a year), but ‘crashed & burned’ my businesses – in huge debt by my mid 20′s
- Got back into martial arts in attempts to deal with my suppressed negative emotions, my inner demons
- Obtained licenses in insurance and securities (mostly to learn about money and get out of debt)
- Became a professional stuntman
- Married the love of my life, became a stepfather to 2 teenagers (almost got banished from my parents for doing so)
- Unexpectedly had to move to Canada, - my car was repossessed and I couldn’t legally work for two and a half years
Yeah, those ten years of my life did NOT go as planned! Was there a pattern? Now I love adventure, but sometimes my life was a horrifying roller coaster. Although there were a few “ups”, the “downs” practically destroyed me and my self-image.
While attempting to juggle careers and survive drowning in debt, I had a marriage that was forbidden by my parents, immigration problems, and suddenly step-fathered 2 teenagers. And I wasn’t even 30 yet! Talk about a crash course – balancing family, career, financial stability, damage control with the parents, and personal needs. I was in pure survival mode!
Imagine living in fear and doubt every day. Sometimes I went into really dark and horrible places. What I had left of my relationships and marriage suffered greatly. My once vibrant health had quickly deteriorated.
Out of shame I isolated myself from everyone, even my closest friends. I was humiliated and beaten. ‘Rock bottom’ seems like an understatement. My inner demons, which I call inner dragons, almost destroyed me. I thought as I accomplished more my dragons would go away. But they didn’t.
My untamed dragons continued to sabotage my life. I lost my sense of purpose, my passion. I lost my self-confidence. I was afraid to fail again cause I just couldn’t afford to. Then I became afraid of being judged, suddenly caring about other people’s opinions. This made me constantly second guess myself and make choices based on influences and expectations from others.
I began to make decisions for the wrong reasons – out of obligation or to gain the approval of others. I was lost, so my decisions came from what I “should do” – logically and rationally. Then when things didn’t turn out right I used logic and rationale to justify it. Stress and fear became the norm in my life. I didn’t want to wake up in the morning.
…but there was something inside me, a feeling deep down inside, that knew life is suppose to be amazing. I dedicated my life to find the answers.
Why I Blog and How It Will Help You:
A lot of things can help ‘make’ us happy. But real happiness is an inside job. Only when we are truly happy inside will we be at peace. Our outer world truly reflects our inner world.
This is a process of honestly Getting to Know Yourself – it’s the journey of life …conquering your inner dragons leads to Self-Realization. It’s on ongoing journey. There really is no destination.
And, it takes A LOT of inner work. That’s why entire industries are built on it – from therapy, prescription drugs, counseling, coaching, self-help, personal transformation, and even religion.
The irreplaceable time and tens of thousands of dollars I’ve spent re-building myself is simplified and summarized throughout this blog. It started out as a personal journal of life notes. Along the way, it became apparent that we are more alike and connected than most of us realize.
When you truly know yourself, you know the workings of the universe.
It takes humility to deeply look into yourself with Total Honesty. The process can sometimes be unbearably painful, but it’s also incredibly liberating. I promise you it’s worth it! Learn how to tame your dragons and unleash your true power!
“We shall not cease from exploration; and at the end of all our explorations will be to arrive where we started, only to know the place for the first time.” – TS Elliot
My life has gone from feelings of deep despair and financial disaster to a life of passion, adventure and more financial freedom. In the last several years, I’ve made more money while working far less. I travel often, take on fun and exciting projects that I choose, and do the things I enjoy. And it’s all through the process of conquering my inner dragons.
“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are, for what you could become.”
This site is dedicated to all of you who wish to train your dragons and realize your dreams!
You’ll find things will entertain you, awaken you, inspire you, and things that may even irritate you at first. And from vents to vices and passions to pains, I promise that you will find treasures here!
Train your dragon! What you’re looking for is already within you! But, we need support in uncovering our true power. Otherwise, we’d have done it by now! Awaken your inner dragon, and feel alive!
Follow me on Twitter @stevesdragon