Getting Out of Dodge – Flashback

…continued from last post.

It was time for me to go to LA and pack up everything.

The day was July 3, 2006. My 30^th birthday and I was on the road again, by myself on a 1600 mile trip to reflect. Not exactly a happy birthday. My life suddenly changed drastically.

The new career that was starting to take off and the side career of stunt work that was becoming lucrative was just replaced with complete and total uncertainty. What was I going to do in Canada? I couldn’t legally work, didn’t know anyone, and had no resources at all. It’s a different country with different rules and culture.

At that time it seemed like my whole world was crashing down. I had lost regular contact with my dearest friends cause of the stressful times I was going through. I was embarrassed and ashamed.

My financial situation was on the rocks, I was working my head off with days and nights of long hours in a field that I settled for cause it seemed like the right thing to do. My previous businesses fell apart and I was pressured into a field I wasn’t passionate about. I was living to please other people out of obligation.

Years prior I was perhaps the most ambitious and enthusiastic person I knew. I didn’t care what people thought. I did what I wanted.

I did what I wanted and it seemed that it was all in vain. It seemed that I was defeated. I was over my head in debt and my self image was crushed. The people I usually relied on most to console in couldn’t possibly empathize with what I was going through. They had their own life to deal with and I didn’t want to burden them with my drama. I also feared being judged by them. My parents openly refused Lisa and her kids and at times were outright cold to them. My ego couldn’t handle any more rejection. It was the greatest lesson in humility.

So here I was, alone on a long drive with plenty of time to reflect. Thoughts of the last 10-15 years flashed through my mind – the Marines, teaching martial arts, my business ventures, and many lessons learned through those experiences.

I had experienced more than most people do in a lifetime and the lessons were only getting bigger. But the main thought in my head was, “how I was going to move all of our things out of our 4 bedroom condo in LA.?”

It had to be done with a shoestring budget. This was the first, (and hopefully last), moving experience that was forced by circumstance.

I ended up selling and donating most of our furniture. All our belongings were packed into 15 or 20 boxes that Lisa arranged transportation of while she was in Canada. The next several weeks of busy madness probably kept my mind distracted enough from becoming a nervous wreck.

I had to keep enough composure to tell my family and friends that I was moving to Canada. In order to tell everyone it was somehow a good thing I had to convince myself of that.

But things were starting to look up, so why would I leave? I wasn’t about to tell everyone that Lisa couldn’t come into the U.S. cause of some crazy border incident. Yeah, like that would go great with my already disapproving parents. The emotional hardship Lisa experienced was more than any decent person should ever have to go through.

I had lost everything in those short weeks. My car was repossessed and I had no way of paying off the mounds of debt that I’d accumulated from my previous business. I don’t even recall how Lisa paid for food while I was in LA packing all our things. She somehow managed, as she always does.

From my parents’, and perhaps even my friends’ perspective at that time, my marriage to Lisa and taking on teenagers could easily be seen as the scapegoat. Whatever… How could they understand from their limited perspectives?

Over a month had passed and it was now time to reunite with my wife in Vancouver. Summer was coming to an end and Lisa and Ted had already moved into the new apartment with our things that arrived by truck.

I flew to our new apartment in Vancouver and began to adjust to our new life, the dreary, cold, miserable winter weather, relying on public transportation… among other things.

And here I was, home sweet ‘bittersweet’ home. Now what do I do?

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