The Blog

“Find something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.”  – Bill Bartman

Sounds simple enough, right? But have you ever questioned your life direction? Is your life where you intended it to be? Have you ever noticed certain patterns in your life? Do you know what brings meaning or purpose to your life? Are you Happy?

By my early thirties I climbed many metaphoric mountains in search for the answers to questions like these. Ultimately, all of our desires are fueled by a need to find joy and meaning from our lives –The Pursuit of Happiness.

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans.” – ever hear that expression? I remember planning out ten years of my life when I was 17. I was so sure my plan was solid. And when I was 20 I told myself I’d be a successful business owner by 30.

Well, life didn’t happen anything like I had planned. Here’s a little glimpse of what really happened from ages 18-28:

• Served in the U.S. Marine Corps – proud to have earned the title and experience, and also happy to get the heck out!
• Unsuccessfully started three businesses, fell into debt, and had to move back in with my parents  :(
• Had some success with my own business when I was 21, (grossing a humble quarter million a year), making merchandise for over a dozen music bands such as The Black Eyed Peas
• Crashed and burned my businesses, buried and denied destructive emotions – ending up close to 6 figures in debt by my mid 20′s
• Earned a few black belts in martial arts and helped build a successful school
• Got fully licensed in insurance and securities and helped build a successful financial services company with my sister and brother-in-law
• Became a professional stuntman in the movie biz
• Married the love of my life, against my parents’ will, became a stepfather to 2 teenagers and almost got banished from my parents
• Had my car repossessed while going through a deep depression
• Unexpectedly had to move to Canada, where I couldn’t legally work for over two and a half years

Yeah, those ten years of my life did NOT go as planned! Was there a pattern? Now I love adventure, but sometimes my life was a horrifying roller coaster ride. Although there were a few “ups”, the “downs” practically destroyed my self-image.

While attempting to juggle careers and survive nearly drowning in debt, I had a marriage that was forbidden by my parents, immigration problems, and suddenly step-fathered 2 teenagers. And I wasn’t even 30 yet! Talk about a crash course – balancing family, career, financial stability, damage control with the parents, and personal needs. I was in pure survival mode!

Imagine living in fear and doubt every day. Sometimes I went into really dark and horrible places. What I had left of my relationships and marriage suffered. My once vibrant health had quickly deteriorated.

Out of shame, I isolated myself from even my closest friends. To say I lost my sense of self-worth at that time would be a huge understatement! I was humiliated and beaten.

My inner demons, which I call inner dragons, nearly destroyed me. I thought as I became more ‘accomplished’ the insecurities would go away. But until I was able to conquer them they would reappear and continue to sabotage my life. Until I dealt with them, I could never reach a true sense of happiness.

So what happened? When I was younger I did whatever I wanted and didn’t care what anyone else thought. I was totally ambitious and confident. Then as I got older something changed.

Somewhere along the way I lost my sense of purpose, my passion. I lost my self-confidence. I was afraid to fail again. I became afraid of being judged. This made me constantly second guess myself and make choices based on influences and expectations from others.

I began to make decisions for the wrong reasons – out of obligation or to gain the approval of others. I was lost, so my decisions came from what I “should do” – logically and rationally. Then when things didn’t turn out right I used logic and rationale to justify it.

I often disguised my insecurities with false confidence and humor. Then I kept looking to fill my inner void with external things (usually retail therapy or partying) in order to escape – addictions and distractions.

Why I Blog and How It Will Help You:
There are many factors that lead to inner peace. But only when we are truly happy inside will we be truly successful.

Basically it’s a process of TRULY Getting to Know Yourself, or Self-Realization.

So it takes A LOT of inner work.

The irreplaceable time and tens of thousands of dollars I’ve spent re-building myself is simplified and summarized throughout this blog.

When you truly know yourself, you know the workings of the universe.

It takes humility to deeply look into yourself with Total Honesty. The process can sometimes be unbearably painful, but it’s also incredibly liberating. I promise you it’s worth it!

“We shall not cease from exploration; and at the end of all our explorations will be to arrive where we started, only to know the place for the first time.” – TS Elliot

Now I’m in my early 30′s. My life has gone from feelings of deep despair and financial disaster to a life of passion, adventure and more financial freedom. In the last several years, I’ve made more money while working far less. I travel often, take on fun and exciting projects that I choose, and do the things I enjoy. And it’s all through the process of self-realization.

What steps are you taking to work less, earn more and follow your bliss? If I can do it, given what I’ve gone through, anyone can! Learn how to tame the dragon and harness it’s awesome power!

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are, for what you could become.”

This site is dedicated to all those who wish to tame their dragons and pursue their dreams of peace and happiness.

You’ll find things will entertain you, awaken you, inspire you or even irritate you – from vents to vices and passions to pains.

I don’t claim to be any expert. Although, I do promise that you will find treasures here!

May you find and awaken the powerful dragon within you!