The Test of Friendship

During high school a friend of mine told me a story that his father had once told him.

It was a story about a teenage boy who lived with his father. Just the two of them lived together and had very different personalities.

The father was a farmer. He wasn’t very social and only had a few friends. He was the polar opposite of his son, who seemed to know everyone in town and had dozens and dozens of friends.

One day the son asked his father, “Dad, how come you hardly have any friends?”

The father replied, “Son, it’s not about having many friends. It’s about having [true] friends.”

The son replied, “I have lots of true friends who’d do anything for me.”

“How do you know?” the father asked. “It’s great that you guys are always having fun, hanging out together. But true friends aren’t the ones you hang out with the most. They’re the ones who are there when you need them the most.”

Annoyed by his father’s statement the son responded, “My friends and I will do anything for each other! I can prove it to you!”

The father decided go along with his son. They went out to the field and wrapped up a scare crow in blankets to resemble a dead body. Together they visited the son’s “best friend” to ask for his help in disposing of the body.

When the son asked his friend for help, his friend panicked. “You’re gonna get me into trouble!” the friend said. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t afford to get caught! You better go now!”

Shocked by his friend’s response, the son dragged his father to see another friend, insisting that this friend would help. But that friend was even more scared. “Are you crazy?! My parents are inside! Don’t tell me any more! I can’t know about any of this!”

The son visited several more of his closest friends. Each time he grew more and more disappointed.

Then the father took his son and the fake body and began to drive off. After some time, the son asked “Where are we going?”

“To see my friend,” the father replied.

“But you haven’t seen him in years,” the son said.

After a long drive, they pulled into a driveway. They opened the trunk to reveal the fake body and rang the doorbell.

The father explained to his friend that there was an incident and he needed help disposing of the body. Without question, his friend asked what he could do and began to help.

Even though the story is a bit extreme, it does illustrate an important point.

I don’t endorse intentionally “testing” your friends in any way. You don’t have to, and it’s probably not a good idea! Eventually, your friends will reveal themselves and their boundaries.

It’s not to say some friends are “better” then others. In fact categorizing friends and holding expectations is not a good idea either. Those conditions inevitably lead to disappointment and then resentment.

If you want to have true friends, be a true friend.

Again, the people in our lives will eventually reveal their true nature to us. Everyone has “fair weathered friends”. You can find them in any social environment.

There’s an old saying that says, “If you can count your true friends on one hand, you’re considered a wealthy person.”

So what are real friends? Or maybe you can ask yourself another question, “How can you BE a true friend?”

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