Got wife? Got girlfriend? Even if you don’t right now, get ready for something that may save your relationship!
If you’ve been with a girl long enough, you’ve experienced the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome that all women go through. It’s usually when TOM pays his monthly visit. I really hate TOM. (Time of Month)
Girls have period-ic “hissy-fits” that endanger the sanity of men.
Hissy Fit – noun. A sudden outburst of temper, often used to describe female anger at something trivial. Originally regional from American South. Thought to originate from contraction of “hysterical fit.”
Yeah, that’s the actual definition from the dictionary!
What if there was a way to put out the fire of her emotional madness just by saying two simple words. Imagine how much relief that would give you and your relationship!
You see, when men talk about their problems they’re looking for solutions. Women on the other hand, really just need to vent – just for the sake of venting. Yup, just for the sake of getting it all out.
Has your woman ever been totally hysterical, and just a brief moment later she’s fine? Like nothing ever happened? One minute she’s crying and emotional, sharing all her frustrations. Then you give her a hug, tell her you love her and then she’s all chipper and loving again! And then other times you offer totally logical advice, opinions or solutions and she somehow turns things completely around and takes it all out on you!
Now for men, this doesn’t make any logical sense whatsoever. Guys usually look for solutions to problems and frustrations. Women, don’t! This is where most guys get totally miffed!
You see, women are NOT always looking for solutions. Especially from YOU! What they are looking for is VALIDATION. They just want you to listen and “understand“.
Men and women really are from different planets!
While working on the set of Clint Eastwood’s Letters From Iwo Jima, a few of us stunt guys started talking about communication in relationships.
I learned a powerful phrase from Scott Leva, an academy award winning stuntman. More importantly, he taught me how and when to use this phrase!
He’s been married quite a while longer than me, (I was married less than a year at the time – lol). So when he shared his insight, I was all ears.
And since I learned how to use these two magical words in my marriage, it absolutely liberated me!
The magic words are: “I UNDERSTAND”.
…That’s it? Yeah, that’s what I first thought too. The magic is all in the delivery.
When she’s venting her concerns, frustrations or anger. DON’T attempt to offer your advice! This is a true test of patience for most guys. Instead, listen intently and allow her to finish! Then all you have to do is say the magic words.
The key is, you have be genuine and sincere! Yeah, you may be able to get away with it a few times. But usually, a women’s intuition will spark and they’ll know you’re just ignoring them and waiting for them to finish venting. If you give a woman any sense that you don’t care, prepare for a battle! haha!
I wasn’t sure if this would work so I actually went and tested this “secret phrase”. And let me tell you, OMG, it works like a charm! It works so well that it will probably surprise you.
The tough part is being patient and staying emotionally calm; detached from trying to offer any advice.
Remember, giving advice and providing solutions is what WE want. It’s not about us! Sure it seems logical to make it better. But women can be totally illogical because they’re so emotional.
What SHE wants, more than a solution, is for you to be on her side. By listening and validating her concerns you win over her emotions. And when she’s ready, THEN you can offer advice. And in most cases, it’s not even necessary at that point.
Give her a hug and a kiss with those magic words and it’s all over!
The big mistake is to play the “logic card” in an “emotional game“. Logic and emotion have inverse relationships.
When emotions go up, logic goes down!
Have you ever said something at a highly emotional state, only to regret it later? Yeah, I know. We’ve all been there.
That’s why it’s so important to know how to manage highly charged situations.
Knowing how to do this will not only save your personal and professional relationships, you will add tremendous value to them. And, it can make you a master negotiator.
If your in any kind of sales, (we all are in some way), this information is invaluable!