What is a “Normal” Life?

Recently, I got into a discussion with my wife, (again), about what a so-called “normal life” is. What is it about a “normal life” people are looking for? More specifically, what is it about the [lifestyle] we want?

Does it mean a family, home, a ‘stable’ career, and health? …a couple kids, pets, swimming pool, white picket fence and a mortgage? …weekend bbq’s, get-togethers, annual vacations, or even being left alone?

Would that be considered a normal and successful life?

Hmm…Maybe at a surface level. But it sure doesn’t guarantee happiness and fulfillment. Apparently, close to 80% of those “normal” families can be classified as dysfunctional.

So the majority of normal people are dysfunctional?! Now how does that work?

I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a “normal life.” And a normal life isn’t really what people want. Not only that, if there was such thing as a normal life, there’s really not much about the perceived normal life that I really want. But that’s just me.

Ever ask yourself “why” you want the things you want? If you can honestly continue to answer those questions you may discover the “real thing” you’re looking for out of life.

Let’s go a bit deeper. How about relationships. Ok, why do we want them? …Sex? ..duh! At least that one’s easy.

Let’s move onto “love”. But love also includes growth, sacrifice, interdependence and lots more. Selfishness doesn’t work in a long term relationship. That’s why it can be tough. We’re challenged to grow.

Is it companionship we’re looking for? Why? Will that help fill some missing void? I’ve learned that the love you’re able to give is limited to the love you have for yourself – inside. It doesn’t totally work when you’re hoping to fill some void by being loved. But it does help.

Okay, what about family? What is it about having kids that seems to complete a “normal” life? Is it just biologically engrained in us to procreate? Do we find life meaning by trying to build a legacy through our children? I think some cultures use to have kids for the free labor. Ha! Either that or a birth control fail…!

But why else? Do we find more meaning in life cause of the opportunity to grow from raising our kids, and developing empathy and understanding – which we later call “life experience?”

Why do you want kids? …or why not?

What about career? Did you choose your career? Or did it choose you, by circumstance? Do you truly love what you do? Or do you justify why you love what you do? If you didn’t need money, would you still be doing what you do? What would you do? …and why?

What about money? What does having money do for you, specifically? Is it really about the money?

At a deeper level, it’s never about the money. Money is a tool. It’s said that money doesn’t buy happiness. That may be true, to some degree. But money definitely buys options.

Maybe it’s not good to think too much about it. Maybe it’s best to do what’s in front of you, in the present moment… What do you think?

Maybe people are so caught up in their busy day-to-day lives that they don’t have time to even think about it. They have the nice house, ‘perceived’ happy family, the cars, the title, the income… but have found what truly makes them [happy]? There still may be that void inside of them. Isn’t that what mid-life crisis is?

In that case, I may have a short life! Is there a quarter-life or third-life crisis?

That’s a whole other story.  But, as I sit at my desk writing this at 2:30am on a weekday, I can’t help but be grateful that I’m healthy and not tied down to a “9-5 job.” For me, it’s all about Freedom.

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